Lost in Show

I always feel like an imposter at the Fancy Food Show. I made my third annual trip Sunday to the event, held every January at Moscone Center, and once again felt like I was sneaking in, though I had registered, paid the fee, and was wearing the badge. I attend under a pseudonym; perhaps that’s the reason. Or maybe it’s that the vendors eagerly handing me a piece of cheese on a cracker ask me, “Are you a retailer or distributor?” When I answer that I’m a writer, a scowl passes over their faces and they look to the next visitor.

The Fancy Food Show doesn’t really feature fancy food — not that I’m sure what fancy food is. It features food that keeps, food that can be shipped halfway around the world: cured meat, candy, olives, chips, beverages, ice cream. Some of it is excellent, some insipid, most unremarkable. Producers of these food products stand behind their booths, offering samples and pitching their selling points: organic, all-natural, anti-oxidants, a new taste, attractive packaging for your store. For some reason there’s always a ton of chocolate and cheese.

Each year presents a new trend. Last year it was aloe vera drinks; this year popcorn (caramel-, chocolate-, jalapeño-, and bacon-flavored) and iced tea (mint-, citrus-, and mango-flavored) seemed to share the spotlight. The cutest idea was ice cream cone bottoms — 2-inch-high sugar cones, like mini-Drumsticks. The most daring product name was Slow Cow, an “anti-stimulant” drink enhanced with valerian, chamomile, and hops.

In the international section, you hardly need the signs to tell you what country you’re in. Dark-eyed young men in expensive suits with thick accents — Italy; small groups huddled together speaking French — France; friendly vendors shouting out “Hallo!” — Australia.

Photography is not allowed at the show, and though attendees are prohibited from removing food from the floor, I snuck a few things out.